The Tomato of My Heart~Chapter 14

Antonio looked in the mirror and sighed. He adjusted the black necktie that was around his neck. His green eyes drifted over to Lovino, who was sitting on the bed, completely ready, yet his eyes were staring blankly at nothing.
"You okay, Lovino?" He asked the Italian, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Hmm?" He turned to Antonio, his eyes focusing again. "Oh, yeah. I was just thinking."

"What were you thinking about?" He was concerned about Lovino... He wasn't acting like himself, he was dazed off, unfocused, mild, and bland. His eyes lost that sparkle and that fiesty personality had started to fade away.

"Just about things..." His voice was a monotone, no life to them whatsoever. "Just recent events... What happened." Emotion was starting to show, although it was remorse and depression. "The bus... And Isabela. It's my fault. My fault she's dead. It's my fault Daniela has to grow up without a mother. It's all my fault. It should have been me. She died saving me. She could still be alive, happy and with her family. I'm a terrible person." He buried his head in his knees.

That's why Lovino was acting so strange. He had survivor's guilt. Antonio could attempt to soothe and comfort Lovino with sweet, supportive words and gentle hair strokes, but it wouldn't work. It never did. Lovino was far too intelligent to belive anything of the sort. "It's not your fault, Lovi." He decided to at least try it. "Didn't she tell you she was sick?" Lovino picked his head up and nodded. "She was going to die from the sickness, you just gave her a nobler cause. I think she would had rather died a hero than a villain." He gave a peck on Lovino's cheek.

"I guess so," Lovino said, his eyes starting to unfocus again, just staring into nothingness. "But... What am I supposed to say? Tell the ones who were close to her that she died to save me? I... Just don't want to do this. This shouldn't have happened. None of it should have. I don't know what to do, what to say. She told me to do something before she died, but I'm not sure if I could do it."

"What was it?" Antonio asked him, curious about what her request was.

"I can't tell you," The Italian shrugged. "I guess you'll see eventually."

Antonio had overheard some of the conversation the two were having, it mentioned something about him and Daniela, but he wasn't paying complete attention to what they were saying.

"Okay... Are you ready to go? We still have to drop off Daniela." The Spaniard wrapped his arms around Lovino.

"Okay, we don't want to be late." He walked into the young girl's room, trying to wake her up.

Daniela had changed too, although that was expected. It wasn't fair for a little kid to lose her mother at such a young age. She was so sad all of the time now, and all Antonio wanted to do was bring back that smile of hers. Everything was a different atmosphere, a different mood, a depressing aftermath.

It was a few more minutes before Lovino walked out of the room, carrying Daniela in his arms. He walked into the living room, setting the toddler on the couch. She didn't react, but just sat there. "Good morning, Daniela. Did you sleep well?"

She shook her head. "I had another bad dream." This was another reoccurance, the bad dreams Dani had been having. They were happening at least every two nights since it had happened. "I dreamt that a monster came and tried to eat me, but I was all alone, so I had no one to save me..."

Antonio sighed and hugged his daughter. "Don't be scared. You're not alone, okay?"

"Hey, Papi?" She looked at him. "Can you promise me something?"

"What is it?" He asked the black-haired girl.

"Promise me that you'll never leave. I don't like being alone." She extended her little finger. "Pinky promise?"

Antonio did the same. "I promise." He kissed the top of her head. "I'll always be here for you."

Daniela gave a small smile, and yawned. "Thank you, Papi." She hugged him. "But, where are we going?"

"We're dropping you off to the pota- I mean, Gilbert." Lovino said through gritted teeth.

"It's okay, Roderich will be there too!" Antonio reassured Lovino, knowing he wouldn't trust Gilbert with a child.

"Well, that's okay. At least Roderich has intelligence and some maturity." Lovino seemed to calm down a bit, although not completely.

"Exactly, well we should be off, I don't think it would be very good if we were late." Antonio said, picking up Daniela with one arm and grabbing Lovino's hand with the other.

It was slightly drizzling, the sky being a dismal grey. They stepped into the car, and started to drive to Roderich's. The car ride was silent, for they could find nothing to talk about. It seemed to take forever to get there, the minutes seemed like hours plunged into the sad silence.

The car stopped, and the three stepped out. Antonio picked up Daniela again, saying something about not wanting her shoes to get muddy. He knocked on the door, and a few seconds later it opened.

"Antonio, come in." Roderich said. "Gilbert should be out shortly. I have no clue what's taking him so long..." He rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, I don't have much time, we're running late." Antonio set Daniela down on the floor, where she started walk around bumping into one of the tables, causing on of the vases to fall. Roderich let out a few swear words and dove for it, trying to save it from shattering.

"Luckily I saved it, that's an expensive vase." Roderich sighed. "She's your daughter?" Antonio nodded. "I couldn't tell." There was a heavy sarcasm in his voice.

"Well, we should be going. Tell Gilbert I said hi!" Antonio gave a plausible-enough smile and left.

"Are you sure we can trust them with Daniela?" Lovino asked, a worried look filling his eyes.

"I'm positive, don't forget, Roderich raised Feliciano, and he turned out okay." Antonio told him.

Lovino gave a shrug. "He's a wimp, if Daniela comes out of there any less courageous, I'm blaming him. It could also be Feliciano's doing, but still."

The Spaniard rolled his eyes. "Daniela's a tough girl, she might roughen them up. Anyway, we should probably get going."

The two men stepped into the car, and drove away.

The ceremony had been awkward. It seemed every time Lovino looked around, someone was glaring at him. It was as if, like he had at first, they blamed him for Isabela's death. He had given the speech, although it seemed no one had been listening to him. They were too focused on glaring at him with eyes as sharp as daggers.
Lovino plopped down on the couch and undid his black necktie. Antonio sat next to him, and wrapped his arm around him. No words were spoken, just a nice, soothing silence that didn't need to be broken. The Italian came closer to him, burying his face in the Spaniard's chest. Small little tears soaked into the soft shirt of his love.

"I hate people..." Lovino sniffled. "Honestly, it's not like I fucking killed her! It wasn't my fault! I didn't do anything!" He sobbed, burying himself into Antonio's shirt again. The brunette sat there, stroking the chestnut hair of his lover, placing a few kisses on his face.

"They're grief-stricken. When you suffer grief and tragedy, you feel the need to blame it on someone, anyone, even when there is no one to blame." Antonio told him, placing another kiss on the soft lips of the Italian. This one was tender and sweet, lasting noticably longer than the former ones. The two pulled away awhile later, a frown still on the Italian's face. "Come on, cheer up! You know it wasn't your fault..." Antonio smiled, his green eyes bright. "Fusososo~"

Lovino rolled his hazel eyes, but gave a small laugh. "Idiot." He told the Spaniard. "You sound stupid when you say that."

"Well, it cheers you up, doesn't it?" The Italian gave a very small nod. "Therefore, it does its job!"

"Wait... Did you forget to pick up Daniela from Roderich's?" Lovino yelled. "You idiot! You forgot your daughter..."

"Oh my god, you're right!" Antonio's voice was filled with disappointment, directed towards himself. Both of them started to walk to the car.

"This is why you can't live with her without another adult. You're hopeless." Lovino sighed, offering to drive.

"No! I'll drive." Antonio offered, a nervous smile on his hand. Lovino didn't really understand why he was never allowed to drive; he was an excellent driver. "Anyway, I raised you, and you turned out pretty well, so I'm not completely hopeless!"

"I guess," The Italian shrugged.

Roderich was standing by the door, holding Daniela's hand as the car pulled into the driveway. "You forgot something, you idiot."

Daniela crossed her arms and pouted. "Liar." She told him.

Antonio tilted his head. "What do you mean?" He asked.

"You promised me that you wouldn't leave, and you forgot me!" She yelled. "You lying bastard."

Lovino grew 12 shades of crimson. "Don't say that word!" He told her. "It's not a very nice word... In fact, don't repeat anything I say."

Antonio pulled the Italian's arm and whispered. "You're not allowed to talk near her anymore."

The Spaniard picked up his daughter. "How about I go buy you a treat? Then will you forgive me?" The little girl gave a nod.

"Can we go get ice cream?" She asked, beaming up at him again.

"Okay~!" Antonio smiled back.

After the stopped at an ice cream parlor, the three were home. Daniela ran inside and into her room giggling.

Lovino sat down on the couch and picked up a piece of paper and pencil. He started to draw someone in an elaborate gown with a long veil and holding a bouquet of lilies. The person in the dress had short hair with an odd, little curl. He wasn't sure if it was a girl, and if it was, she was very flat chested. He drew a man in the picture, dressed sharply in a tuxedo, with slightly wavy hair and beautiful eyes. The next person in the drawing was a little girl in a pretty dress. She was carrying a basket of flowers, scattering the petals.

When looking at the picture as a whole, he realized what he had drawn. Lovino had drawn a wedding, his and Antonio's wedding. "That's a nice drawing, Lovino." Antonio popped up behind him, causing Lovino to jump a bit.

"You startled me, you bastard!" He yelled. "Besides, it's not even that well-drawn."

"I beg to differ," Antonio argued back. "You're always your worst critic."

"Whatever..." The Italian rolled his hazel eyes. "Anyway, remember when I said Isabela told me to do something?"

"Yes, I remember. But you wouldn't tell me." Antonio nodded, instructing him to continue.

"Well, I think I can tell you now." Lovino inhaled deeply. "She said that I needed to take care of Daniela, like she was my own daughter."

Antonio burst out laughing. "That's it? That's what she told you? You already did that, and you still do." The Spaniard ruffled his lover's chestnut hair.

"But, there was one more thing she told me to do." Lovino gave a small, nervous smile as he took the box out of his pocket. "I found this in the dresser drawers..."

"What are you trying to say Lovino?" Antonio asked, being handed the box.

The Italian put out his hand, giving it to Antonio. "I'm saying yes, you idiot." He laughed. Antonio's eyes grew wide, and then he hugged Lovino tightly, practically jumping on top of him.

"Really?" He asked, in a state of such complete and utter bliss, he thought it was like a dream. "It'll be perfect! Daniela can be the flower girl and you can wear a pretty drees, like in the drawing--"

"Excuse me?" Lovino raised an eyebrow. "If I'm marrying you, I'm doing it in a tuxedo, that means pants." He argued. "Only girls wear dresses."

"Please?" He begged, his bottom lip quivering.

"No. I'm not a girl, therefore, I shall not wear a dress." The Italian crossed his arms.

"Please! Please, please, please, please, please?" He begged. Lovino shook his head again. "Come on! Even you drew yourself in a dress!"

"Fine, I'll wear a fucking dress if it will shut you up!" He yelled. "But, you're paying for it, and I get to pick it out, capiche?"

"Okay~" Antonio hugged his fiance again.

"Idiot." Lovino muttered, before turning around and giving the Spaniard a passionate kiss. "Ti amo."